Use it Jesus.

5B56F476-942B-4226-BF92-CB53F1EF3D07Hello reader, let’s take a drive. My name is Jeremy and my life has been a train wreck for a while—God wants me to talk about it.

I don’t really want to do this. This first post marks the beginning of a difficult process for me. I’m basically about to air out my dirty laundry for everyone who chooses to read and follow this blog.

God put this on my heart some time ago and I’ve avoided it as long as I could. It’s time for me to trust God. So I’m taking this first step and saying “use it Jesus.”

I’ve been through a lot of turmoil in the last handful of years. Beginning with a really unpleasant divorce. I walked away from that situation with a gaping hole in my life—so broken hearted and so very disappointed in myself.

Then came the drinking and nearly killing another human in an accident born of my own negligence. I walked away from this event completely broken and with an understanding of what it means to hate. I hated myself.

Finally the dark times culminated with what is in my opinion the least painful and difficult of the big ugly events in my life—several months in the parish(or county) jail. Obviously a terrible experience in many ways but it is also a time that I cherish for reasons I will talk about in future posts.

These things—including all of the mess in between will be discussed in great detail over the course of some time—so many things to address. So if you’re going through some big and difficult things or know someone who is, if you like a good story and enjoy seeing God move, or if you’re just nosy—you should follow this blog.

While it may look like my life is a mess—and it has been—take it from me.

I’m actually finding it quite pleasant at times getting to sit back and watch God work.

He has done, is doing, and certainly will continue to do amazing things in my life. That is what I will be writing about. Testimonies to what Christ can do in a persons life. Regardless of what tarnishes their history.

God freely forgives us when we repent. His grace is more than forgiveness though, it also separates us from our history and creates a fresh start. Psalm 103:12 states that “As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.” Thank God for that! I’d like to be as far from my past as possible.

It’s what god says about us that matters. What our past says is unimportant. God is about the present and the eternal. He quite literally forgets our past when we repent. He lets us move on and never holds anything against us. Jeremiah 31:34 “For I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more.” I must say that is pretty remarkable.

Let’s move on for now. I guess you could say I am a “Jonah” of sorts. I have been running from what God wants me to do for a long time and even spent some time in the belly of the proverbial whale.

Let’s take a quick look at the damages caused by running. You see—when we operate outside of Gods will we are operating outside of our intended purpose. When you use something outside of its intended purpose it gets wear and tear in areas that it’s not equipped to withstand stress in. To put it more simply—things get broken.

I ended up living a lot of life while on the run—a fugitive of the call of God on my life. I was the quintessential fugitive. So much so that it’s comical to think back on. I used disguises and had a number of fake identities, meaning I pretended to be someone I was not and often had some facade or another up when I was in public or social situations. I would even go into hiding at times.

God never stopped chasing me though. I am so grateful that my God leaves the ninety nine to retrieve the one. (Luke 15:1-7) Sometimes God would put so many signs pointing to him in my path that I felt like I was on some spiritual most wanted list.

I mentioned above that I’ve lived a lot of life. Let me clarify a bit—I am quite young. Barely into my thirties even. A better way to say it is that I’ve lived a lot in a short time. There are a specific five or so years in mind. Gods opinion about and response to that dark and painful season in my life is the reason I’m starting this blog. I’d like to dig in and take a closer look at how God works within what appears to be chaos and how we can better take part in the efforts.

I’d also like to clarify that I’m not entirely comfortable with doing this—not one bit.

I have some reservations about sharing some of the more painful and intimate details about my life. God has not called us to be comfortable though, has he?

That being said— I think sharing the ugly details is necessary to paint the full picture of grace. It’s an opportunity to admire Gods handiwork. The intent here is to share—through talking about my story and taking you with me through my present journeys—a testimony of what God will do when we choose him.

I want to start a dialogue about how God can take the messes we make and use them ultimately to his glory and for our good. He is quite the craftsman. It is truly amazing what he can do. I have first hand experience and am a prime example of the redemptive power of the blood of Jesus Christ.

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